Illustration
from first edition of LIFE ON THE MISSISSIPPI
How solemn and beautiful is the thought that the earliest pioneer of civilization,
the van-leader of civilization, is never the steamboat, never the railroad,
never the newspaper, never the Sabbath-school, never the missionary --
but always whiskey! Such is the case. Look history over; you will see.
The missionary comes after the whiskey -- I mean he arrives after the
whiskey has arrived; next comes the poor immigrant, with ax and hoe and
rifle; next, the trader; next, the miscellaneous rush; next, the gambler,
the desperado, the highwayman, and all their kindred in sin of both sexes;
and next, the smart chap who has bought up an old grant that covers all
the land; this brings the lawyer tribe; the vigilance committee brings
the undertaker. All these interests bring the newspaper; the newspaper
starts up politics and a railroad; all hands turn to and build a church
and a jail -- and behold! civilization is established forever in the land.
But whiskey, you see, was the van-leader in this beneficent work. It always
is. It was like a foreigner -- and excusable in a foreigner -- to be ignorant
of this great truth, and wander off into astronomy to borrow a symbol.
But if he had been conversant with the facts, he would have said: Westward
the Jug of Empire takes its way.
- Life on the Mississippi
"Whiskey is for drinking; water is for fighting
over."
- This quote has been attributed to Mark Twain, but until the attribution can be verified, the quote should not be regarded as authentic. |
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