There isn't a rich man in your vast city who doesn't perjure himself
every year before the tax board. They are all caked with perjury, many layers
thick. Iron-clad, so to speak. If there is one that isn't, I desire to acquire
him for my museum, and will pay Dinosaur rates.
- "A Humane Word from Satan"
Mark Twain Museum, Hannibal, MO. Photo courtesy of Dave Thomson
| [I] shall never use profanity except in discussing
house rent and taxes. Indeed, upon second thought, I will not even use it
then, for it is unchristian, inelegant, and degrading--though to speak truly
I do not see how house rent and taxes are going to be discussed worth a
cent without it.
- "Two Mark Twain Editorials," Europe and Elsewhere
Illustration by "Dwig" from the
Dave Thomson collection
What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.
- Notebook, 1902
We've got so much taxation. I don't know of a single foreign product that enters this country untaxed except the answer to prayer.
- Morals speech, 1906
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