Trusting in Providence is a very good thing, as far as it goes, but a chart and a compass are worth six of it, any time. Statistics have shown this to be true.
- remark written in manuscript for Life on the Mississippi. Quoted in Mark Twain and Human Nature by Tom Quirk (Univ. of Mo. Press, 2007).

There is this trouble about special providences--namely, there is so often a doubt as to which party was intended to be the beneficiary. In the case of the children, the bears, and the prophet, the bears got more real satisfaction out of the episode than the prophet did, because they got the children.
- "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

I have often noticed that as a general thing when Providence sets out to deliver retribution upon a certain man, the plans of a lot of "instruments" are knocked galley-west who haven't been doing anything. I have lost just about half my time, since I was born, acting as an instrument. And in about nine cases out of ten it was to fetch retributions upon parties whose fate I was not even interested in--often, in fact, parties whom I was not even acquainted with.
- Letter to Louise Chandler Moulton, January 8, 1875

There are many scapegoats for our sins, but the most popular is Providence.
- Notebook, 1898

The proverb says that Providence protects children and idiots. This is really true. I know it because I have tested it.
- Autobiography of Mark Twain, (used as prelude to bowling story)

I never count any prospective chickens when I know that Providence knows where the nest is.
- Letter to William Dean Howells, October 15, 1883

My experience with Providence has not been of a nature to give me great confidence in his judgment, and I consider that my wife crept in while his attention was occupied elsewhere.
- quoted in Melbourne Age October 28, 1895

Prov'dence don't fire no blank ca'tridges, boys.
- Roughing It