Of all the kinds of sexual intercourse, this has least to recommend it. As
an amusement it is too fleeting, as an occupation it is to wearing; as a public
exhibition there is no money in it. It has, in our last day of progress and
improvement, been degraded to brotherhood with flatulence--among the best bred
these two arts are now indulged only in private--though by consent of the whole
company, when only males are present, it is still permissible, in good society,
to remove the embargo upon the fundamental sigh.
- Some Thoughts on the Science of Onanism speech, 1879
Caesar in his Commentaries, says, "to the lonely it is company; to the
forsaken it is a friend; to the aged and impotent it is a benefactor; they that
be penniless are yet rich, in that they still have this majestic diversion.
There are times when I prefer it to sodomy."
- Some Thoughts on the Science of Onanism speech, 1879
The monkey is the only animal, except man, that practices this science; hence
he is our brother; there is a bond of sympathy and relationship between us.
Give this ingenious animal an audience of the proper kind, and he will straightway
put aside his other affairs and take a whet; and you will see by the contortions
and his ecstatic expression that he takes an intelligent and human interest
in his performance.
- Some Thoughts on the Science of Onanism speech, 1879
Quotations | Newspaper Articles | Special Features | Links | Search