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Directory of Mark Twain's maxims, quotations, and various opinions:

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FOUNTAIN PENS

None of us can have as many virtues as the fountain-pen, or half its cussedness; but we can try.
- Following the Equator, Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar

AI image created by R. Kent Rasmussen



An absolutely perfect pen, compared with which all others are frank failures.
- Endorsement for the Wirt fountain pen, Lippincott's Magazine, June 1889

Wirt Pen ad
1904 ad for Paul E. Wirt Fountain Pens from the
Dave Thomson collection
With a single Wirt pen I have earned the family's living for many years. With two, I could have grown rich.
- Letter to Wirt Fountain Pen Company, 11 October 1898

I prefer it to ten other fountain pens because it carries its filler in its own stomach and I can't mislay it, even by art and intention. Also I prefer it because it is a profanity-saver: it cannot roll off the desk.
- Letter to Conklin pen company, 1 October 1903
Conklin ad




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