MARK TWAIN IN THE SAN FRANCISCO DRAMATIC CHRONICLE
1865
[EDITOR'S NOTE: This item was most likely copied and parodied by Clemens and inserted into the pages of the Dramatic Chronicle in order to provoke Fitz Smythe. Thereafter, Clemens continued to ridicule Fitz Smythe with references to his "horse" and his horse stories. On November 26 , Fitz Smythe complained about copyright infringement in regard to this item.]
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(Copied exclusively from Daily Alta Californian.)
THRILLING ORIGINAL TALE.
THE WILD HORSE OF THE SAND-HILLS
or
The Blighted Butcher's Cart.
BY ARMAND LEONIDAS FITZ SMYTHE.
On Monday, an ambitious steed, condemned by adverse circumstances, and all that sort of thing, to draw a butcher's cart, started down Bush street at a rate of speed not desired or calculated on by his owner, and passing Montgomery street came to a kneeling position, which necessitated a sudden halt, as the cobble stones, which are bad enough to travel over on foot, are not "the cheese," so to speak, for playing on the marrow bones. The halt was so sudden that the cart, in obedience to the laws of motion, gravitation, etc., etc., described the arc of a circle, went over the horse, and landed bottom up in front. "Getting the cart before the horse" is not the thing at all, you know, and as "one good turn deserved another," the horse now took a turn over the cart, and made some very fine kindling wood of the body, then gave it a few parting kicks, shook himself clear of the ruins, and went his way, happy and content as Swimly's boarders, or a gentleman of taste with one of Ward's perfect fitting shirts. We have no reason to doubt that he is going yet, but don't assert such a thing as a fact, being especially desirous of maintaining our reputation for making no statements which we cannot prove.
THE END.
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[transcribed from microfilm]
