MARK TWAIN IN THE SAN FRANCISCO DRAMATIC CHRONICLE
1865
[EDITOR'S NOTE: This item has not been previously republished elsewhere. It is included in this collection because of its potential to be the work of Clemens and is deserving of further research and consideration.]
_____
"SILENCE THAT DREADFUL BELL!"
The little Call has a special correspondent at Sacramento who writes under the mystical initial, "W.:" but then what he writes under is of no special importance. Nobody would object to his writing under a bushel-basket if he chose to do so, though an objection would certainly be entered against crediting him as the possessor of four pecks of sense. The business of "W." at Sacramento is to report legislative doings for the edification of the readers of the little Call. We fear that he is not going to prove equal to the emergency. It is painfully evident that he is made of "susceptible stuff:" that the fascinations incident to the position are too much for him. He has betrayed himself. He had been overcome. He is lost! The confiding and honest little Call is undone! Upon his own confession does he stand condemned, and here that confession is, as it appeared in the unfortunate little Call of Friday. He says -- alas! he says: "You need not be surprised if my letter should contain many errors to-day, as Lizze Bell is sitting in close proximity to me, with her 'widows and orphans' papers spread out before her, and doing some very pretty and successful talking to the members." Oh, "W.," "W.!" why didn't you remove your "close proximity," and summoning your usual fortitude -- or, if that had all together deserted you, the Sargeant-at-Arms to your aid, warn the honorable members against listening to the "very pretty and successful talking of the widows and orphans papers?" You can travel, "W." -- you can go and let yourself as a Bellringer. You can git!
_____
[transcribed from microfilm]
