MARK TWAIN IN THE SAN FRANCISCO DRAMATIC CHRONICLE
1865
[EDITOR'S NOTE: These items have not been previously republished elsewhere. They are included in this collection because of their potential to be the work of Clemens and are deserving of further research and consideration. "That Bible" mentions Beriah Brown, founder of the San Francisco Democratic Press, which later became the San Francisco Examiner. When President Abraham Lincoln was assassinated in April 1865, Brown was the victim of mob violence after he allegedly condoned the assassination. Brown escaped the mob and left San Francisco. Clemens mentioned Beriah Brown in the Morning Call on August 3, 1864, September 8, 1864 and in his "Answers to Correspondents" in the Californian July 1, 1865.]
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THAT BIBLE -- A DISGUSTED DEMOCRAT
When our dearly beloved brother, Beriah Brown, made his somewhat hurried hegira from these shores, he left his Bible behind him in the Examiner office. The sacred volume has proved a Godsend to his successors, who have been cutting it up and dealing it out in copious extracts for the edification of the Democracy whenever there was a dearth of "copy." Meantime, we are informed that this unaccustomed description of matter is viewed with suspicion by many of the Examiner's readers. One tough old veteran who frequents a certain saloon on Clay street, to harangue against "nigger ekality" and to read the "best paper, by G--d, in San Francisco, sir," was seen yesterday, by an abolition spy, to pick up the organ, and with his battered spectacles astride of his variegated old nose, to address himself seriously to its perusal. Presently the reader was seen to exhibit symptoms of disgust. Elevating his eyebrows, and sniffling the air suspiciously, he muttered: "I'm d---d if this don't sound to me a h--l of a sight more like Puritan cant and abolition preachin' than good old-fashioned Democracy! Wonder what the d---l old Ben Washington means by writing such sick stuff as that!"
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AS GOOD AS ORIGINAL [p. 4]
The Examiner is publishing the entire New Testament gospel in installments in its editorial columns as original articles. A recent issue contained the following "scripture portions:"
If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink; for thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, and the Lord shall reward thee.
If ye cast pearls before swine they will turn again and rend ye.
We don't think the Examiner runs much risk of defection by its "constituents" in appropriating anything from that source. Its extracts will doubtless possess all the charm of novelty for most of its readers.
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[transcribed from microfilm]
