MARK TWAIN IN THE SAN FRANCISCO DRAMATIC CHRONICLE
1865
[EDITOR'S NOTE: This item has not been previously republished elsewhere. It is included in this collection because of its potential to be the work of Clemens and is deserving of further research and consideration.]
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AT IT AGAIN
The Flag is bound to depopulate San Francisco. It drove some citizens away by comparing the steamer arrivals and departures together, and proving that people would have to hurry if they wanted to get out of town before the place was made desolate; it made good use of the earthquake, and drove a good many away by proving that the city was going to be swallowed up shortly; and now, having worn out the steamer and the earthquake, it is swinging the cholera with terrific effect. It is going to drive away the balance of us now, by proving that San Francisco is a pet place with epidemics, and that the cholera will have left neither hide nor hair of it by the time its engagement is played out here. There is no call for all this alarm. If the Board of Health will sprinkle a couple of tons of chloride of lime in the Flag office and make its editors wash themselves, the town can be saved. For the sake of the community's welfare the "tripple thunderer" ought to let go his jug now, and go and take his annual bath a month earlier than usual.
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[transcribed from microfilm]
