MARK TWAIN IN THE SAN FRANCISCO DRAMATIC CHRONICLE
1865
[EDITOR'S NOTE: These items have not been previously republished elsewhere. They are included in this collection because of their potential to be the work of Clemens and are deserving of further research and consideration. "'Magnificent' Row" relates to a contractual dispute between Opera House manager Thomas Maguire and Felicita Vestvali who had played the lead role in "Gamea, the Fortune Teller" in September 1865. Clemens wrote about the dispute between Maguire and Vestvali in letters to the Territorial Enterprise published on November 4 and December 1865.]
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FEMININE WILES.
What a multitude of authors have made feminine deceit and hypocrisy their favorite theme! We have lately been recreating ourself from our severe mental labors on the CHRONICLE by a course of light reading, including all the new novels and romances, with selections from a few standard writers such as Thackerary, Balzac, etc. Now it is a shocking and disgraceful fact that with scarcely an exception the novelists love to depict women as insincere, treacherous and Jesuitical. Of course every well-regulated mind is sensible of the injustice and meanness of this. Our theory is, that the writers of novels (the men, that is,) are as a class exceedingly wicked, suspicious, and malignant, and French novel writers above all others -- for they are the meanest and vilest in their insinuations against feminine character. For our part, we firmly believe that all women are angels -- or if they are not, it is always the men's fault.
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THE DOCUMENTS.
Mr. Bandmann has been rather roughly handled by certain "irresponsible critics" about town more, especially by "a little clique of egotists" who amuse themselves (and the public too) by "playing at editing a newspaper." Manager Maguire, like a staunch and plucky fellow as he is, comes to the rescue, and shows that he means to stand by his Teutonic friend right loyally. So he collects all the puffs that Herr Daniel has received in the Boston, New York, Chicago, St. Louis and San Francisco papers, and prints them in full in a diminutive (and cheap) handbill. That's right, Don Thomas; we applaud your grit. Always stand by your friends. It's honorable and manly -- besides, in the present instance it wasn't expensive, inasmuch as it does not require a very large handbill to contain all the commendatory notices the Herr ever received in the United States -- excepting of course the paid "gushings" such as burst forth in a deluge in San Francisco on Saturday and Sunday last.
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P. R. INTELLIGENCE.
The latest P. R. news is that an encounter will take place between two well known pugs [pugilists], who have before on several occasions put up their hands. Tom Maguire and the "Gamea un" are the parties. The "Gamea un" is heavy with her right duke, while Tom does heavy execution with his left mauley. The stakes are not yet deposited, but we have assurance that all will be arranged and the fight will come off. There is great excitement among the sporting fraternity. Odds of 25 to 4 are offered freely on the "Gamea un."
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"MAGNIFICENT" ROW.
The Opera House has, it seems, recently been the scene of a melo-drama -- threatening to assume the more serious form of tragedy -- which was not put down in the "small bills" nor announced on the posters. Vestvali, the "Magnificent," has been threatened with "bodily injury" by the great "Napoleon of the Stage." In short, the actress proved refractory, and the manager was going to "whip her." The "Magnificent" thereupon made complaint at the Police Court, and caused the arrest of the "Napoleon" upon the following charge: "That he (the manager) threatened that he would break every bone in deponent's body before deponent shall leave the city, and in making said threat used the following language, to wit: 'You damned fiend under the mask of a woman, (repeated three times, with violence and gesticulations,) take care; you have come to the right man. I'll prove that you have bones in your flesh, and before you leave the country I'll break every bone in your body;" and deponent fears that the said Maguire will attempt to carry his said threat into execution, and believes her life to be in jeopardy in consequence of said threat, unless said Maguire be restrained by law." The complaint is signed in a masculine style of hand writing, "Felicite de Vestvali," with a business-like quirl underneath. The "Napoleon" gave bail for his appearance on Tuesday.
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[transcribed from microfilm.]
